Thankfully, I'm currently very happy with where my essay is at right now. It's a relief to know that my paper is in a good place and to be able to move on from it and concentrate on other school work. I put a lot of work and thought into it, but really what helped me develop it further than I was able to is discussing it with Professor Thompson. Seriously, if you are in our class and reading this, or in any other class, take advantage of office hours because (generally) your professors want to help you. I know it's kind of scary to do because there's the fear that you won't know what to say or will embarrass yourself but she is really good at never making you feel stupid about what you wrote and just working with you to pin point what you want to say and it's really helpful.
For my readers when you're looking at my essay keep in mind that I am under option 1, but I didn't really follow the prompt. I have my own thesis and use my blog along with different articles to support my thesis. The type of feedback I'm really looking for is general concepts of how cohesive the paper is as a whole and what kind of impressions you have about my argument and how effective it is in making you understand the paper. Maybe if after you read it through write a summary without looking at the paper of what you got from the reading. I also want feedback about how effectively I used my different sources. And finally, feedback about any areas where there is wording or phrasing that doesn't make sense or you think needs to be added to in order to clarify my intended meaning. Thanks and good luck!
it sounds like your essay is coming along great! office hours are truly a god send when a person needs help. i know that for a fact :D i hope you had a great Thanksgiving holiday and all that good stuff!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to hear that you're finding the help you need. I'm glad you essay is coming along well. I'm also trying to be more concise in my writing.
ReplyDeleteHaha... I appreciate the nice comments, but I wonder if you guys are aware that we don't need to do comments tonight...
ReplyDeleteReaders Review
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. Everything works, and works very well. First of all, your intro makes it very clear what you will focus on in your essay, even before you present the actual thesis. Following that, your argument is very clear, easily understood and evident throughout the entire essay. Sources in support of your argument are very well integrated and the quotes are introduced, explained, and very well connected to your argument. Overall, you make very good connections and analysis, and the essay ends up being very cohesive and very well flowing as a whole.
Summary: Blogs can be very effective in learning environments, allowing expression and connections beyond what can be achieved in the classroom
Kylie,
ReplyDeleteI love reading your paper because it is well organized. Thesis and view point is stated clearly. you focus on the argument and your own blog. By switching back and forth, i can see how one view point is relating to your object of being analyzed. You are making good connections. differ from paige's paper, you have a clearly third person point of view. Just some suggestion, that the audience can feel more engaged if toned that writer can put audience in the conversation.
yun =)
Hey Kylie, It wont let me post your readers review as a comment for some reason.. I think it is too big or something! Anyway I posted it as a blog post on my blog! So you can read it there and I will be emailing it to you with your essay as well... I made a few highlighted changes!
ReplyDelete